Function of Character
In relation to DV, I have never experienced life before so I appreciate and want it so badly because I have lost it due to circumstance. Towards logical answers, I ask questions. Towards questions people try to logically solve, I give the most simplest answer. And I guess the simplest answers are the correct ones. My logic goes in line with fairytales, not with books. I have no chance to regret because I have not lived.
Why I am in purgatory - because of people like gwak who scares me about the world
Why I want to live - I want to see colours, feel the warmth of the sun, smell the flowers of spring and the morning dew on grass. I want to feel the breeze through my hair. I want to play with snowman and see all the beautiful things of the earth.
Revelation- Mug talks to me about life. That even though it can be sour, it is only with a mixture of tastes that makes it delicious and worth living for. So my fear of the bad things of living is gone and I even look forward to sour moments combined with the sweet things of life.
My take on each character
Sarah - She always seems uptight, like she's so close to looking for something but cannot grasp it. She has lots of books but none of them have pictures. I wonder what they are about. I think she can be my teacher since she has the most books from earth - which usually means she treasures them. Thus, i conclude that she must know and love knowledge. Which probably means she is the most knowledgeable.
Mui Choo - She is my mum. I seek her for motherly love because I have never experienced it before. She takes care of me and answers my questions. I wonder why she did not let her baby live. There are probably a lot of babies who don't get to live, like me. I think Mui Choo will know why. she said she was really scared to the point where she forgot to love. I cannot understand but maybe i will soon.
Death - He took me to where I am now. He is quite kind, he comforts me and tries to tell me why things happen. He is quite scary too. He just sits there and waits for us to make a decision on where to go so he can bring us.
Mug- He gets into nervous fits/ fits in general. Even though I do not know why he is like that, I know he is feeling bad and frustrated inside. So I comfort him sometimes. Although I feel that he is weird compared to the rest, he actually made me realise that life is nice not because it is sweet but because it has a mixture of flavours that makes it so rich.
Gwak - She is one scary person. She shouts half the time and scares me. I don't really believe her when she says that the world has no love, and is not worth living for. But there must be some truth to what she says, or else, why would she and EVERYBODY not want to live?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
New Character Analysis for Mug
Name: Mug
Age: 800 years
Occupation: (forgotten) God of Wisdom
Aim: To be worshiped and remembered.
Obvious characteristics: Self-centered, confused, forgotten, ignored. Stuck in the hunger to retain lost glory and dignity, to be worshipped again. Now powerless.
Background: I came to the earth as people of that time sought to find solace in life. People searched for wisdom as they flocked to the temples which at that time were high as the moon, the stars. People looked up to me, prayed to me, worshipped me. I was God. This all happened about 800 years ago when the world was still apart. When the gods didn't cross paths. I was God. The people fed me and I was what they lived for. I gave back. I imparted many pieces of advice and precautions to my worshippers. Then came these people from the west. People I've never seen before. People with skin which's colour was so sickly I wanted to comfort them and give them shelter. At first, they were students. People studying our ways, our life. People who studied me. Then they became teachers, then destroyers. They preached against me. Pointed fingers at me. Set fires on me. The land was no longer united and everything was crumbling. Before I knew it, the temples were desecrated. My treasures looted. Pillars were shattered. The foundations were gone. The people were separated. I fled. I crumbled. Here I am.
Regret: My one regret was that I let it slip from my hands. The power and glory I once had is now but a distant memory. The only prayers that come in come from schools. Exam halls. Youngsters searching for answers. Endlessly seeking. Yet it is knowledge they find. There is no wisdom. I regret letting wisdom die. Here in purgatory, I try to instill the wisdom into the people here. As I crumble further, I hope my final days will be fruitful, like the fig tree in the garden. If I can make at least one person feel wisdom for once again, and if I can make people worship the value of wisdom, I would be back. And I wouldnt crumble. Rather than being a wind-up toy people only use when they need to.
Realisation: I realise that perhaps I should just let go if it all. I'm not going to get my life of a God back. Maybe I'll make a bigger difference as a man.
Disability: As stated above, I need to be wound up. As I move, I lose control over parts of myself. I crumble. My movements are stacato, like all my joints are rusted and need a large amount of energy and force to move them. I use my walking stick as a means of getting around, having already lost the function of my left foot. As I diminish in importance and my usefulness dies, I become more and more dead. Until the next person winds me up, I'll forever be asleep.
Age: 800 years
Occupation: (forgotten) God of Wisdom
Aim: To be worshiped and remembered.
Obvious characteristics: Self-centered, confused, forgotten, ignored. Stuck in the hunger to retain lost glory and dignity, to be worshipped again. Now powerless.
Background: I came to the earth as people of that time sought to find solace in life. People searched for wisdom as they flocked to the temples which at that time were high as the moon, the stars. People looked up to me, prayed to me, worshipped me. I was God. This all happened about 800 years ago when the world was still apart. When the gods didn't cross paths. I was God. The people fed me and I was what they lived for. I gave back. I imparted many pieces of advice and precautions to my worshippers. Then came these people from the west. People I've never seen before. People with skin which's colour was so sickly I wanted to comfort them and give them shelter. At first, they were students. People studying our ways, our life. People who studied me. Then they became teachers, then destroyers. They preached against me. Pointed fingers at me. Set fires on me. The land was no longer united and everything was crumbling. Before I knew it, the temples were desecrated. My treasures looted. Pillars were shattered. The foundations were gone. The people were separated. I fled. I crumbled. Here I am.
Regret: My one regret was that I let it slip from my hands. The power and glory I once had is now but a distant memory. The only prayers that come in come from schools. Exam halls. Youngsters searching for answers. Endlessly seeking. Yet it is knowledge they find. There is no wisdom. I regret letting wisdom die. Here in purgatory, I try to instill the wisdom into the people here. As I crumble further, I hope my final days will be fruitful, like the fig tree in the garden. If I can make at least one person feel wisdom for once again, and if I can make people worship the value of wisdom, I would be back. And I wouldnt crumble. Rather than being a wind-up toy people only use when they need to.
Realisation: I realise that perhaps I should just let go if it all. I'm not going to get my life of a God back. Maybe I'll make a bigger difference as a man.
Disability: As stated above, I need to be wound up. As I move, I lose control over parts of myself. I crumble. My movements are stacato, like all my joints are rusted and need a large amount of energy and force to move them. I use my walking stick as a means of getting around, having already lost the function of my left foot. As I diminish in importance and my usefulness dies, I become more and more dead. Until the next person winds me up, I'll forever be asleep.
Meeting on 5th March
Location: School Black Box.
Time: 7 to 9 pm
Agenda: Practise scenes 1 to 7
Ask Miss N for comments
Improvements:
1) Beginning
- Up the energy
- Have one liner flashes from each character?
- Add soundscape
- Try Adam and Eve puppetry ASAP
- Think about WHAT the connection is bet the story of adam and eve and the play. They regretted leaving the place, not the actions they had performed. Is that what we are going to be playing on? Will our charcters be regreting leaving earth and not being able to live anymore or will they regret their actions and wrongdoings (the product of which was them leaving the world)?
2) Lights- For death scenes, MIX it with red light, don't make it completely red.
3) Rhythm- For the group as a whole, fr the individual, for the respective interaction scenes.
4) Set
- Beds now on wheels! Will be used to create the locations of the characters death scenes.
- No beds for death scenes?
- Use beds as prison, cliff, etc... for death scenes
- Bedsheets used as water for MC death scene?
5) Costume- Squishy shoes for Mui Choo
6) Physicality
-MC- Ask pregnant ladies WHERE they feel the aches and pains.
- Gwak- Don't fall into stereotypes (eg-crazy, bubbly). Look at neurological disorders or hyperactivity.
- Sarah- Add the disability of hanving hands tied to rods so cant fold them in EVER?
- Mug- Crubles when touched?
- Baby- roll all the time? never crawls?
HOMEWORK
1) Work on your physicality, practise it, do the necessary research and bring the props you need for the next session.
2) Contacts for set- Rachel, Mark and Steph, contact the ppl you have in your list. Get back to me on 9th (Tuesday)
3) Adam and Eve- Can we still use it? Does it have the same meaning our play is hoping to give?
4) Script- Any problems with it? Mug revise your part to make it deeper and more understandable.
5) Death scens- With the new set that we created, how would you like your death scene to be portrayed?
6) BRING a bedsheet and pillow for yourself, next rehersal.
Time: 7 to 9 pm
Agenda: Practise scenes 1 to 7
Ask Miss N for comments
Improvements:
1) Beginning
- Up the energy
- Have one liner flashes from each character?
- Add soundscape
- Try Adam and Eve puppetry ASAP
- Think about WHAT the connection is bet the story of adam and eve and the play. They regretted leaving the place, not the actions they had performed. Is that what we are going to be playing on? Will our charcters be regreting leaving earth and not being able to live anymore or will they regret their actions and wrongdoings (the product of which was them leaving the world)?
2) Lights- For death scenes, MIX it with red light, don't make it completely red.
3) Rhythm- For the group as a whole, fr the individual, for the respective interaction scenes.
4) Set
- Beds now on wheels! Will be used to create the locations of the characters death scenes.
- No beds for death scenes?
- Use beds as prison, cliff, etc... for death scenes
- Bedsheets used as water for MC death scene?
5) Costume- Squishy shoes for Mui Choo
6) Physicality
-MC- Ask pregnant ladies WHERE they feel the aches and pains.
- Gwak- Don't fall into stereotypes (eg-crazy, bubbly). Look at neurological disorders or hyperactivity.
- Sarah- Add the disability of hanving hands tied to rods so cant fold them in EVER?
- Mug- Crubles when touched?
- Baby- roll all the time? never crawls?
HOMEWORK
1) Work on your physicality, practise it, do the necessary research and bring the props you need for the next session.
2) Contacts for set- Rachel, Mark and Steph, contact the ppl you have in your list. Get back to me on 9th (Tuesday)
3) Adam and Eve- Can we still use it? Does it have the same meaning our play is hoping to give?
4) Script- Any problems with it? Mug revise your part to make it deeper and more understandable.
5) Death scens- With the new set that we created, how would you like your death scene to be portrayed?
6) BRING a bedsheet and pillow for yourself, next rehersal.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Sarah: Character Analysis
Name: Sarah
Occupation: Student JC2
Aim: Pursue a career in medicine.
Background: I was born into a very poor family, and as if two children weren’t enough, my mother had three more after me. My elder brother could not give a crap about working or providing for the family. I think it runs within the family because my father ran away from the family 8 years ago because he could not take the ‘pressure’. MY younger siblings are the least bothered with helping out at home, and seem to place my brother and father on pedestals as their role models. Very soon, I expect that they will be kicked out of school because they are just too rebellious and refuse to study. I tried to bring them up the right way, but tell me, how a teenager like me can raise three children in addition for having to provide for the home and take care of it too. I don’t have a mother, but in place of it I have a new sister, a very cynical, whiney, moody and lazy one at that! All my ‘mother’ does all day is sit and laze around at home. I try to get her jobs, but the next day she tells me that she’s been kicked out or that she just didn’t like it there! You think I like my life? NO! This is precisely why I ended it.
Personality: Surprisingly I’m not the angry rebellious type that some people would expect. I do get angry, but I keep it all inside me because it really would not make a difference if I voiced it out because no one gives a damn. I’m just too tired to be angry really. To tired to feel anything and too tired to do anything to make a change because I have tried so many times and failed over and over again.
Why I killed myself: My “A” level examinations were right around the corner and I was trying really hard to do well and try to secure a scholarship to go on to university. Just a few days before they began, my younger siblings contracted hand foot and mouth disease. We had no money for a doctor so I had to stay by their side night and day to monitor their situation and to try out every possible method I knew to cure them. Mother was busy at ‘work’, or at least that is what she claimed to be doing, and my brother decided that he needed money more desperately than I did, and so robbed me .LITERALLY! That was IT! There was no way I could get a scholarship, no way that I could get a loan, no way that I could manage to pay for university, and no one I could talk or scream to. It was like I was a robot that no one cared about as long I performed my functions. I didn’t know what I had left to live for because I had no future. I didn’t want to grow up a bitter woman; neither did I want to grow up in that dump of a house with my so called ‘family’. Death seemed like the most welcoming option.
Why I chose to hang myself: Its really quite simple- I didn’t have money to buy pills or drugs, and I didn’t want to slit my wrists or cut myself because I don’t really welcome the sight of blood. Moreover, hanging is a 100% way of dying because there is almost no way of it failing on you. So there it is…
What I regret: Acting impulsively. I should have rationalized the situation and thought of the pros and cons and the other possible options I had besides killing myself. I was just too overwhelmed with emotions that I could not think straight!
I regret not being able to fulfill the destiny that I had planned out for myself. I never reached the goal that I had worked my whole life to achieve. I was a failure, just like my mother and siblings. I was one of them and that disgusts me!
How do you show this regret?
My neck is a painful reminder of the stupid irrational mistake that I made. I can’t move it as I did before; I’m no longer in control. That’s a very odd position for me to be in and I’m still trying to get used to this handicap.
Do I get over my regret and move on?
No. I haven’t had the time to think about it. Yes, I still have the science student mind of rationalization, so every decision that I make must make sense. On one hand I do want to live again because I loved life, and who knows maybe this time ill get a better family! But I think at this point I’m just too scared of the unknown future, too scared to live again because the past and the mistakes that came along with it are just too fresh. I need more time to think, more time to lay out my options, and I think most importantly, I need time to heal the wounds that I came into purgatory with.
Occupation: Student JC2
Aim: Pursue a career in medicine.
Background: I was born into a very poor family, and as if two children weren’t enough, my mother had three more after me. My elder brother could not give a crap about working or providing for the family. I think it runs within the family because my father ran away from the family 8 years ago because he could not take the ‘pressure’. MY younger siblings are the least bothered with helping out at home, and seem to place my brother and father on pedestals as their role models. Very soon, I expect that they will be kicked out of school because they are just too rebellious and refuse to study. I tried to bring them up the right way, but tell me, how a teenager like me can raise three children in addition for having to provide for the home and take care of it too. I don’t have a mother, but in place of it I have a new sister, a very cynical, whiney, moody and lazy one at that! All my ‘mother’ does all day is sit and laze around at home. I try to get her jobs, but the next day she tells me that she’s been kicked out or that she just didn’t like it there! You think I like my life? NO! This is precisely why I ended it.
Personality: Surprisingly I’m not the angry rebellious type that some people would expect. I do get angry, but I keep it all inside me because it really would not make a difference if I voiced it out because no one gives a damn. I’m just too tired to be angry really. To tired to feel anything and too tired to do anything to make a change because I have tried so many times and failed over and over again.
Why I killed myself: My “A” level examinations were right around the corner and I was trying really hard to do well and try to secure a scholarship to go on to university. Just a few days before they began, my younger siblings contracted hand foot and mouth disease. We had no money for a doctor so I had to stay by their side night and day to monitor their situation and to try out every possible method I knew to cure them. Mother was busy at ‘work’, or at least that is what she claimed to be doing, and my brother decided that he needed money more desperately than I did, and so robbed me .LITERALLY! That was IT! There was no way I could get a scholarship, no way that I could get a loan, no way that I could manage to pay for university, and no one I could talk or scream to. It was like I was a robot that no one cared about as long I performed my functions. I didn’t know what I had left to live for because I had no future. I didn’t want to grow up a bitter woman; neither did I want to grow up in that dump of a house with my so called ‘family’. Death seemed like the most welcoming option.
Why I chose to hang myself: Its really quite simple- I didn’t have money to buy pills or drugs, and I didn’t want to slit my wrists or cut myself because I don’t really welcome the sight of blood. Moreover, hanging is a 100% way of dying because there is almost no way of it failing on you. So there it is…
What I regret: Acting impulsively. I should have rationalized the situation and thought of the pros and cons and the other possible options I had besides killing myself. I was just too overwhelmed with emotions that I could not think straight!
I regret not being able to fulfill the destiny that I had planned out for myself. I never reached the goal that I had worked my whole life to achieve. I was a failure, just like my mother and siblings. I was one of them and that disgusts me!
How do you show this regret?
My neck is a painful reminder of the stupid irrational mistake that I made. I can’t move it as I did before; I’m no longer in control. That’s a very odd position for me to be in and I’m still trying to get used to this handicap.
Do I get over my regret and move on?
No. I haven’t had the time to think about it. Yes, I still have the science student mind of rationalization, so every decision that I make must make sense. On one hand I do want to live again because I loved life, and who knows maybe this time ill get a better family! But I think at this point I’m just too scared of the unknown future, too scared to live again because the past and the mistakes that came along with it are just too fresh. I need more time to think, more time to lay out my options, and I think most importantly, I need time to heal the wounds that I came into purgatory with.
Monday, March 1, 2010
GUAKAWAKAWEENA'S RE-analysis
Name: GUAKAWAKAWEENA
Ambition: Famous Painter
Occupation: ARTS student
How did you die: i chopped off my right hand and i bleed to death
Family r/ship: Not supportive mom and dad. no siblings. i was a lonely person who had no one to talk to and no one to get advice from. i thought the world was bleak, cause my parents refused to talk or give me money to further my dream.
Friends: people around me always thought i was an oddball so i guess they kept a distance and i had not immediate close friends. the person i loved most, who encouraged me in my dreams was my grandmother, but she died 2 weeks before i did. i guess after her support ended, i also had nothing to live for.
Personality: i want to catch people's attention so naturally, i'm a loud person. i like to emulate artsy people who are flamboyant in their speaking and mannerism. also, i try to get along with everyone so i can have more friends. i keep my feelings to myself and i don't like to confide in people, yes, i know, trust issues. i like to explode because of all the suppressed emotions.
What exactly do you regret?
1) Killing myself. it was not my intention to kill myself when i cut off my hand, i just wanted to get rid of the one thing that constantly hounds at me and makes me feel inferior and insignificant. i bled to death before i knew it.
2) My dream was to be a famous painter and have all my artwork published in recognised museums all over the world. in my quest for this however, i was faced with many obstacles, my parents and friends were adamant that i go to the science stream as they thought they'll be a better future for me there. as a result, i had no support for my aspirations and people all around me were pressuring me to quit something i loved a lot. i coundn't handle the stress and all the rejection letters sent to me i killed myself. i regret that i had not pesevered and lived to see my goals achieved.
How do you show this regret?
Physicality- Missing right arm. When i move my right arm, i am overcome with pain, a constant reminder of what i was missing. i forget at times that my right hand is gone and numerous attempts were made to paint and do normal and daily stuff with my right hand, to comic failure. as a result, i am forced to stumble/fumble around with my left hand. my painting is also now ugly and i feel angry at myself all the time.
Object- A special paintbrush that i keep with me at all times to remind me of all the things that i had miss because of my foolish deed.
Character- Outgoing facade to hide the anger at myself for doing somwthing that i will regret forever. i seem to hate living because it reminds me of all the things i had forgone.
What is your realization? What triggers it?
I guess all the time i spend in purgatory has made me think about my actions and how i could have done something better, instead of killikng myself. however, i don't want to move on because i'm scared that i will still be deformed, that i can't paint, i'm sacred of life and i don't want to live again, the anger is still there, as well as the hunger, which i can't seem to satisfy.
The trigger is baby and sarah. i had scared baby of life but the way that baby is so determined to live is something that touched my heart. i considered living again too, or moving on. When Sarah came, i did was instantly reminded of myself, because we are so close in age. i come to realise that you know, i did have a choice, i don't want to live here forever, not being, not satisfied, not full. a bad life is better than a screwed up death.
What is this new thing that you want?
I want to live again. i want to be able to paint, i want to be full.
How are you going to get it?
Take a leap of faith, stop staying here, in limbo. Follow where Death takes me and hope to GOD i remeber my mistakles so i don't make them again.
What are the changes you undergo after this realization?
i guess the determination and courage to seek the unknown, to move on. i am not weight down and scared of my disability anymore. i embrace it and hope for the best. i also am not so fake happy anymore because now i have a purpose, a direction in life. i hope to convince the rest of them to move on too. not stay here and remain hungry.
Do you get rid of your handicap? How? What is your handicap?
Not being able to use my right hand. i guess after all this, i have come not to hate it, maybe to see it as a scar that i would proudly wear, embrace the fatc that i cannot use it again. it does not heal when i'm in purgatory though, i hope in my new life, or wherever i'm going, i will remember and appreaciate my hand and go for my dreams, be it with support or not. it is important to believe in myself and persevere.
Can you make you handicap more grotesque?
Yes. Blood veins all around my amputated arm, with blood spilling out of it whenever i try to move it. because i lost a lot of blood, also, my face can be sheet white and pale to the point of ghostly.
Ambition: Famous Painter
Occupation: ARTS student
How did you die: i chopped off my right hand and i bleed to death
Family r/ship: Not supportive mom and dad. no siblings. i was a lonely person who had no one to talk to and no one to get advice from. i thought the world was bleak, cause my parents refused to talk or give me money to further my dream.
Friends: people around me always thought i was an oddball so i guess they kept a distance and i had not immediate close friends. the person i loved most, who encouraged me in my dreams was my grandmother, but she died 2 weeks before i did. i guess after her support ended, i also had nothing to live for.
Personality: i want to catch people's attention so naturally, i'm a loud person. i like to emulate artsy people who are flamboyant in their speaking and mannerism. also, i try to get along with everyone so i can have more friends. i keep my feelings to myself and i don't like to confide in people, yes, i know, trust issues. i like to explode because of all the suppressed emotions.
What exactly do you regret?
1) Killing myself. it was not my intention to kill myself when i cut off my hand, i just wanted to get rid of the one thing that constantly hounds at me and makes me feel inferior and insignificant. i bled to death before i knew it.
2) My dream was to be a famous painter and have all my artwork published in recognised museums all over the world. in my quest for this however, i was faced with many obstacles, my parents and friends were adamant that i go to the science stream as they thought they'll be a better future for me there. as a result, i had no support for my aspirations and people all around me were pressuring me to quit something i loved a lot. i coundn't handle the stress and all the rejection letters sent to me i killed myself. i regret that i had not pesevered and lived to see my goals achieved.
How do you show this regret?
Physicality- Missing right arm. When i move my right arm, i am overcome with pain, a constant reminder of what i was missing. i forget at times that my right hand is gone and numerous attempts were made to paint and do normal and daily stuff with my right hand, to comic failure. as a result, i am forced to stumble/fumble around with my left hand. my painting is also now ugly and i feel angry at myself all the time.
Object- A special paintbrush that i keep with me at all times to remind me of all the things that i had miss because of my foolish deed.
Character- Outgoing facade to hide the anger at myself for doing somwthing that i will regret forever. i seem to hate living because it reminds me of all the things i had forgone.
What is your realization? What triggers it?
I guess all the time i spend in purgatory has made me think about my actions and how i could have done something better, instead of killikng myself. however, i don't want to move on because i'm scared that i will still be deformed, that i can't paint, i'm sacred of life and i don't want to live again, the anger is still there, as well as the hunger, which i can't seem to satisfy.
The trigger is baby and sarah. i had scared baby of life but the way that baby is so determined to live is something that touched my heart. i considered living again too, or moving on. When Sarah came, i did was instantly reminded of myself, because we are so close in age. i come to realise that you know, i did have a choice, i don't want to live here forever, not being, not satisfied, not full. a bad life is better than a screwed up death.
What is this new thing that you want?
I want to live again. i want to be able to paint, i want to be full.
How are you going to get it?
Take a leap of faith, stop staying here, in limbo. Follow where Death takes me and hope to GOD i remeber my mistakles so i don't make them again.
What are the changes you undergo after this realization?
i guess the determination and courage to seek the unknown, to move on. i am not weight down and scared of my disability anymore. i embrace it and hope for the best. i also am not so fake happy anymore because now i have a purpose, a direction in life. i hope to convince the rest of them to move on too. not stay here and remain hungry.
Do you get rid of your handicap? How? What is your handicap?
Not being able to use my right hand. i guess after all this, i have come not to hate it, maybe to see it as a scar that i would proudly wear, embrace the fatc that i cannot use it again. it does not heal when i'm in purgatory though, i hope in my new life, or wherever i'm going, i will remember and appreaciate my hand and go for my dreams, be it with support or not. it is important to believe in myself and persevere.
Can you make you handicap more grotesque?
Yes. Blood veins all around my amputated arm, with blood spilling out of it whenever i try to move it. because i lost a lot of blood, also, my face can be sheet white and pale to the point of ghostly.
New Character Analysis for Muichoo
Mui Choo
Age: 37 years old
D.O.Death: 1960s
Job: Pub waitress / Prostitute ("I work as waitress, but money also come from men. No time to marry. Some men don't mind who they sleep with.")
Obvious traits: Low educated. Simple minded / ignorant. Very Chinese-y. Hungry for love and escape and probably, second chances. Got abused by some of her customers but have to go with it. Got severely abused by her baby's dad.
New stuff about her:
I thought that I've found true love in the end but apparently, he turned out to be just another bastard. He got me pregnant and didn't want to marry me. When he's drunk, he will hit me and abuse me. Even when I'm pregnant, he forces me to have sex with him. He'll flirt and find other women in front of me. I've been with him for more than a year already. For the first few months, he was really sweet and gentle to me. I really thought that he might be different from all the other customers I've seen. He felt like he was the guy I once loved a long time ago, he reminded me of him. That's why I gave him a chance to get my love. In the end, he abused me till I had no choice but to kill myself. I can't bear to see my body with all those bruises and the baby that was created by him inside of me.
Why I regret:
I regret killing myself because I killed a baby, it's another new life that could have lived. I knew there were other methods of escaping that fate without having to kill myself. Also, who's left to take care of my sickly mother? My brother and sister are still young and incapable of providing for the family. What if my sister went to do what I did? I'll be harming her future! I had been irresponsible when I killed myself and I regret it.
Age: 37 years old
D.O.Death: 1960s
Job: Pub waitress / Prostitute ("I work as waitress, but money also come from men. No time to marry. Some men don't mind who they sleep with.")
Obvious traits: Low educated. Simple minded / ignorant. Very Chinese-y. Hungry for love and escape and probably, second chances. Got abused by some of her customers but have to go with it. Got severely abused by her baby's dad.
New stuff about her:
I thought that I've found true love in the end but apparently, he turned out to be just another bastard. He got me pregnant and didn't want to marry me. When he's drunk, he will hit me and abuse me. Even when I'm pregnant, he forces me to have sex with him. He'll flirt and find other women in front of me. I've been with him for more than a year already. For the first few months, he was really sweet and gentle to me. I really thought that he might be different from all the other customers I've seen. He felt like he was the guy I once loved a long time ago, he reminded me of him. That's why I gave him a chance to get my love. In the end, he abused me till I had no choice but to kill myself. I can't bear to see my body with all those bruises and the baby that was created by him inside of me.
Why I regret:
I regret killing myself because I killed a baby, it's another new life that could have lived. I knew there were other methods of escaping that fate without having to kill myself. Also, who's left to take care of my sickly mother? My brother and sister are still young and incapable of providing for the family. What if my sister went to do what I did? I'll be harming her future! I had been irresponsible when I killed myself and I regret it.
Updates for Muichoo
Regret
What do I exactly regret:
I regret killing myself - especially when I've got my baby inside. I regret giving up on life when I know that I can start afresh. I regret taking up this job because I cannot find true love with this kinda job.
How do I show it:
Script. Scenes where Muichoo communicates with Baby shows how regretful she is over killing herself and her baby. In the new scene with Guak & Sarah, Muichoo can show her regret by encouraging Guak & Sarah to move on and let go of their regret?
Actions. I always look/touch/hug Baby as if she's my own baby. I behave like I'm her Mamma.
Realization
My realization:
I realized that I shouldn't be held back by my regret and should live my life again.
The 'new' thing that I want:
True love. I want to start my own family. I want a proper life. I want to be a good Mamma. I want a loving husband.
After this realization, the changes I'll go through:
I'll become more optimistic? I'll encourage others to let go of their regret (S13 with Guak & Sarah) and tell them to be brave and move on! Things doesn't change unless you do something about it.
What do I exactly regret:
I regret killing myself - especially when I've got my baby inside. I regret giving up on life when I know that I can start afresh. I regret taking up this job because I cannot find true love with this kinda job.
How do I show it:
Script. Scenes where Muichoo communicates with Baby shows how regretful she is over killing herself and her baby. In the new scene with Guak & Sarah, Muichoo can show her regret by encouraging Guak & Sarah to move on and let go of their regret?
Actions. I always look/touch/hug Baby as if she's my own baby. I behave like I'm her Mamma.
Realization
My realization:
I realized that I shouldn't be held back by my regret and should live my life again.
The 'new' thing that I want:
True love. I want to start my own family. I want a proper life. I want to be a good Mamma. I want a loving husband.
After this realization, the changes I'll go through:
I'll become more optimistic? I'll encourage others to let go of their regret (S13 with Guak & Sarah) and tell them to be brave and move on! Things doesn't change unless you do something about it.
Disability
My disability:
I need to be wearing the hospital breathing mask all the time or else I will stop breathing and have spasms. When I take it off to speak, I'll have heavy breathing and it'll only last for 1 minute (?). Can include moments where I speak too much till I'm going to have spasms.
Do you get rid of your handicap?:
Possibly. Towards the end, I can speak for a longer time without much heavy breathing. It shows I've let go of my regret that used to be holding me back.
More grotesque?:
My looks? Smudged makeup with scars of being abused. But that's not really considered as disability. Maybe I can roll my eyes up when I'm having spasms, like as if I'm "possessed" :D
My disability:
I need to be wearing the hospital breathing mask all the time or else I will stop breathing and have spasms. When I take it off to speak, I'll have heavy breathing and it'll only last for 1 minute (?). Can include moments where I speak too much till I'm going to have spasms.
Do you get rid of your handicap?:
Possibly. Towards the end, I can speak for a longer time without much heavy breathing. It shows I've let go of my regret that used to be holding me back.
More grotesque?:
My looks? Smudged makeup with scars of being abused. But that's not really considered as disability. Maybe I can roll my eyes up when I'm having spasms, like as if I'm "possessed" :D
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