Name: Mug
Age: 800 years
Occupation: (forgotten) God of Wisdom
Aim: To be worshiped and remembered.
Obvious characteristics: Self-centered, confused, forgotten, ignored. Stuck in the hunger to retain lost glory and dignity, to be worshipped again. Now powerless.
Background: I came to the earth as people of that time sought to find solace in life. People searched for wisdom as they flocked to the temples which at that time were high as the moon, the stars. People looked up to me, prayed to me, worshipped me. I was God. This all happened about 800 years ago when the world was still apart. When the gods didn't cross paths. I was God. The people fed me and I was what they lived for. I gave back. I imparted many pieces of advice and precautions to my worshippers. Then came these people from the west. People I've never seen before. People with skin which's colour was so sickly I wanted to comfort them and give them shelter. At first, they were students. People studying our ways, our life. People who studied me. Then they became teachers, then destroyers. They preached against me. Pointed fingers at me. Set fires on me. The land was no longer united and everything was crumbling. Before I knew it, the temples were desecrated. My treasures looted. Pillars were shattered. The foundations were gone. The people were separated. I fled. I crumbled. Here I am.
Regret: My one regret was that I let it slip from my hands. The power and glory I once had is now but a distant memory. The only prayers that come in come from schools. Exam halls. Youngsters searching for answers. Endlessly seeking. Yet it is knowledge they find. There is no wisdom. I regret letting wisdom die. Here in purgatory, I try to instill the wisdom into the people here. As I crumble further, I hope my final days will be fruitful, like the fig tree in the garden. If I can make at least one person feel wisdom for once again, and if I can make people worship the value of wisdom, I would be back. And I wouldnt crumble. Rather than being a wind-up toy people only use when they need to.
Realisation: I realise that perhaps I should just let go if it all. I'm not going to get my life of a God back. Maybe I'll make a bigger difference as a man.
Disability: As stated above, I need to be wound up. As I move, I lose control over parts of myself. I crumble. My movements are stacato, like all my joints are rusted and need a large amount of energy and force to move them. I use my walking stick as a means of getting around, having already lost the function of my left foot. As I diminish in importance and my usefulness dies, I become more and more dead. Until the next person winds me up, I'll forever be asleep.
Showing posts with label character analysis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label character analysis. Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Sarah: Character Analysis
Name: Sarah
Occupation: Student JC2
Aim: Pursue a career in medicine.
Background: I was born into a very poor family, and as if two children weren’t enough, my mother had three more after me. My elder brother could not give a crap about working or providing for the family. I think it runs within the family because my father ran away from the family 8 years ago because he could not take the ‘pressure’. MY younger siblings are the least bothered with helping out at home, and seem to place my brother and father on pedestals as their role models. Very soon, I expect that they will be kicked out of school because they are just too rebellious and refuse to study. I tried to bring them up the right way, but tell me, how a teenager like me can raise three children in addition for having to provide for the home and take care of it too. I don’t have a mother, but in place of it I have a new sister, a very cynical, whiney, moody and lazy one at that! All my ‘mother’ does all day is sit and laze around at home. I try to get her jobs, but the next day she tells me that she’s been kicked out or that she just didn’t like it there! You think I like my life? NO! This is precisely why I ended it.
Personality: Surprisingly I’m not the angry rebellious type that some people would expect. I do get angry, but I keep it all inside me because it really would not make a difference if I voiced it out because no one gives a damn. I’m just too tired to be angry really. To tired to feel anything and too tired to do anything to make a change because I have tried so many times and failed over and over again.
Why I killed myself: My “A” level examinations were right around the corner and I was trying really hard to do well and try to secure a scholarship to go on to university. Just a few days before they began, my younger siblings contracted hand foot and mouth disease. We had no money for a doctor so I had to stay by their side night and day to monitor their situation and to try out every possible method I knew to cure them. Mother was busy at ‘work’, or at least that is what she claimed to be doing, and my brother decided that he needed money more desperately than I did, and so robbed me .LITERALLY! That was IT! There was no way I could get a scholarship, no way that I could get a loan, no way that I could manage to pay for university, and no one I could talk or scream to. It was like I was a robot that no one cared about as long I performed my functions. I didn’t know what I had left to live for because I had no future. I didn’t want to grow up a bitter woman; neither did I want to grow up in that dump of a house with my so called ‘family’. Death seemed like the most welcoming option.
Why I chose to hang myself: Its really quite simple- I didn’t have money to buy pills or drugs, and I didn’t want to slit my wrists or cut myself because I don’t really welcome the sight of blood. Moreover, hanging is a 100% way of dying because there is almost no way of it failing on you. So there it is…
What I regret: Acting impulsively. I should have rationalized the situation and thought of the pros and cons and the other possible options I had besides killing myself. I was just too overwhelmed with emotions that I could not think straight!
I regret not being able to fulfill the destiny that I had planned out for myself. I never reached the goal that I had worked my whole life to achieve. I was a failure, just like my mother and siblings. I was one of them and that disgusts me!
How do you show this regret?
My neck is a painful reminder of the stupid irrational mistake that I made. I can’t move it as I did before; I’m no longer in control. That’s a very odd position for me to be in and I’m still trying to get used to this handicap.
Do I get over my regret and move on?
No. I haven’t had the time to think about it. Yes, I still have the science student mind of rationalization, so every decision that I make must make sense. On one hand I do want to live again because I loved life, and who knows maybe this time ill get a better family! But I think at this point I’m just too scared of the unknown future, too scared to live again because the past and the mistakes that came along with it are just too fresh. I need more time to think, more time to lay out my options, and I think most importantly, I need time to heal the wounds that I came into purgatory with.
Occupation: Student JC2
Aim: Pursue a career in medicine.
Background: I was born into a very poor family, and as if two children weren’t enough, my mother had three more after me. My elder brother could not give a crap about working or providing for the family. I think it runs within the family because my father ran away from the family 8 years ago because he could not take the ‘pressure’. MY younger siblings are the least bothered with helping out at home, and seem to place my brother and father on pedestals as their role models. Very soon, I expect that they will be kicked out of school because they are just too rebellious and refuse to study. I tried to bring them up the right way, but tell me, how a teenager like me can raise three children in addition for having to provide for the home and take care of it too. I don’t have a mother, but in place of it I have a new sister, a very cynical, whiney, moody and lazy one at that! All my ‘mother’ does all day is sit and laze around at home. I try to get her jobs, but the next day she tells me that she’s been kicked out or that she just didn’t like it there! You think I like my life? NO! This is precisely why I ended it.
Personality: Surprisingly I’m not the angry rebellious type that some people would expect. I do get angry, but I keep it all inside me because it really would not make a difference if I voiced it out because no one gives a damn. I’m just too tired to be angry really. To tired to feel anything and too tired to do anything to make a change because I have tried so many times and failed over and over again.
Why I killed myself: My “A” level examinations were right around the corner and I was trying really hard to do well and try to secure a scholarship to go on to university. Just a few days before they began, my younger siblings contracted hand foot and mouth disease. We had no money for a doctor so I had to stay by their side night and day to monitor their situation and to try out every possible method I knew to cure them. Mother was busy at ‘work’, or at least that is what she claimed to be doing, and my brother decided that he needed money more desperately than I did, and so robbed me .LITERALLY! That was IT! There was no way I could get a scholarship, no way that I could get a loan, no way that I could manage to pay for university, and no one I could talk or scream to. It was like I was a robot that no one cared about as long I performed my functions. I didn’t know what I had left to live for because I had no future. I didn’t want to grow up a bitter woman; neither did I want to grow up in that dump of a house with my so called ‘family’. Death seemed like the most welcoming option.
Why I chose to hang myself: Its really quite simple- I didn’t have money to buy pills or drugs, and I didn’t want to slit my wrists or cut myself because I don’t really welcome the sight of blood. Moreover, hanging is a 100% way of dying because there is almost no way of it failing on you. So there it is…
What I regret: Acting impulsively. I should have rationalized the situation and thought of the pros and cons and the other possible options I had besides killing myself. I was just too overwhelmed with emotions that I could not think straight!
I regret not being able to fulfill the destiny that I had planned out for myself. I never reached the goal that I had worked my whole life to achieve. I was a failure, just like my mother and siblings. I was one of them and that disgusts me!
How do you show this regret?
My neck is a painful reminder of the stupid irrational mistake that I made. I can’t move it as I did before; I’m no longer in control. That’s a very odd position for me to be in and I’m still trying to get used to this handicap.
Do I get over my regret and move on?
No. I haven’t had the time to think about it. Yes, I still have the science student mind of rationalization, so every decision that I make must make sense. On one hand I do want to live again because I loved life, and who knows maybe this time ill get a better family! But I think at this point I’m just too scared of the unknown future, too scared to live again because the past and the mistakes that came along with it are just too fresh. I need more time to think, more time to lay out my options, and I think most importantly, I need time to heal the wounds that I came into purgatory with.
Monday, March 1, 2010
GUAKAWAKAWEENA'S RE-analysis
Name: GUAKAWAKAWEENA
Ambition: Famous Painter
Occupation: ARTS student
How did you die: i chopped off my right hand and i bleed to death
Family r/ship: Not supportive mom and dad. no siblings. i was a lonely person who had no one to talk to and no one to get advice from. i thought the world was bleak, cause my parents refused to talk or give me money to further my dream.
Friends: people around me always thought i was an oddball so i guess they kept a distance and i had not immediate close friends. the person i loved most, who encouraged me in my dreams was my grandmother, but she died 2 weeks before i did. i guess after her support ended, i also had nothing to live for.
Personality: i want to catch people's attention so naturally, i'm a loud person. i like to emulate artsy people who are flamboyant in their speaking and mannerism. also, i try to get along with everyone so i can have more friends. i keep my feelings to myself and i don't like to confide in people, yes, i know, trust issues. i like to explode because of all the suppressed emotions.
What exactly do you regret?
1) Killing myself. it was not my intention to kill myself when i cut off my hand, i just wanted to get rid of the one thing that constantly hounds at me and makes me feel inferior and insignificant. i bled to death before i knew it.
2) My dream was to be a famous painter and have all my artwork published in recognised museums all over the world. in my quest for this however, i was faced with many obstacles, my parents and friends were adamant that i go to the science stream as they thought they'll be a better future for me there. as a result, i had no support for my aspirations and people all around me were pressuring me to quit something i loved a lot. i coundn't handle the stress and all the rejection letters sent to me i killed myself. i regret that i had not pesevered and lived to see my goals achieved.
How do you show this regret?
Physicality- Missing right arm. When i move my right arm, i am overcome with pain, a constant reminder of what i was missing. i forget at times that my right hand is gone and numerous attempts were made to paint and do normal and daily stuff with my right hand, to comic failure. as a result, i am forced to stumble/fumble around with my left hand. my painting is also now ugly and i feel angry at myself all the time.
Object- A special paintbrush that i keep with me at all times to remind me of all the things that i had miss because of my foolish deed.
Character- Outgoing facade to hide the anger at myself for doing somwthing that i will regret forever. i seem to hate living because it reminds me of all the things i had forgone.
What is your realization? What triggers it?
I guess all the time i spend in purgatory has made me think about my actions and how i could have done something better, instead of killikng myself. however, i don't want to move on because i'm scared that i will still be deformed, that i can't paint, i'm sacred of life and i don't want to live again, the anger is still there, as well as the hunger, which i can't seem to satisfy.
The trigger is baby and sarah. i had scared baby of life but the way that baby is so determined to live is something that touched my heart. i considered living again too, or moving on. When Sarah came, i did was instantly reminded of myself, because we are so close in age. i come to realise that you know, i did have a choice, i don't want to live here forever, not being, not satisfied, not full. a bad life is better than a screwed up death.
What is this new thing that you want?
I want to live again. i want to be able to paint, i want to be full.
How are you going to get it?
Take a leap of faith, stop staying here, in limbo. Follow where Death takes me and hope to GOD i remeber my mistakles so i don't make them again.
What are the changes you undergo after this realization?
i guess the determination and courage to seek the unknown, to move on. i am not weight down and scared of my disability anymore. i embrace it and hope for the best. i also am not so fake happy anymore because now i have a purpose, a direction in life. i hope to convince the rest of them to move on too. not stay here and remain hungry.
Do you get rid of your handicap? How? What is your handicap?
Not being able to use my right hand. i guess after all this, i have come not to hate it, maybe to see it as a scar that i would proudly wear, embrace the fatc that i cannot use it again. it does not heal when i'm in purgatory though, i hope in my new life, or wherever i'm going, i will remember and appreaciate my hand and go for my dreams, be it with support or not. it is important to believe in myself and persevere.
Can you make you handicap more grotesque?
Yes. Blood veins all around my amputated arm, with blood spilling out of it whenever i try to move it. because i lost a lot of blood, also, my face can be sheet white and pale to the point of ghostly.
Ambition: Famous Painter
Occupation: ARTS student
How did you die: i chopped off my right hand and i bleed to death
Family r/ship: Not supportive mom and dad. no siblings. i was a lonely person who had no one to talk to and no one to get advice from. i thought the world was bleak, cause my parents refused to talk or give me money to further my dream.
Friends: people around me always thought i was an oddball so i guess they kept a distance and i had not immediate close friends. the person i loved most, who encouraged me in my dreams was my grandmother, but she died 2 weeks before i did. i guess after her support ended, i also had nothing to live for.
Personality: i want to catch people's attention so naturally, i'm a loud person. i like to emulate artsy people who are flamboyant in their speaking and mannerism. also, i try to get along with everyone so i can have more friends. i keep my feelings to myself and i don't like to confide in people, yes, i know, trust issues. i like to explode because of all the suppressed emotions.
What exactly do you regret?
1) Killing myself. it was not my intention to kill myself when i cut off my hand, i just wanted to get rid of the one thing that constantly hounds at me and makes me feel inferior and insignificant. i bled to death before i knew it.
2) My dream was to be a famous painter and have all my artwork published in recognised museums all over the world. in my quest for this however, i was faced with many obstacles, my parents and friends were adamant that i go to the science stream as they thought they'll be a better future for me there. as a result, i had no support for my aspirations and people all around me were pressuring me to quit something i loved a lot. i coundn't handle the stress and all the rejection letters sent to me i killed myself. i regret that i had not pesevered and lived to see my goals achieved.
How do you show this regret?
Physicality- Missing right arm. When i move my right arm, i am overcome with pain, a constant reminder of what i was missing. i forget at times that my right hand is gone and numerous attempts were made to paint and do normal and daily stuff with my right hand, to comic failure. as a result, i am forced to stumble/fumble around with my left hand. my painting is also now ugly and i feel angry at myself all the time.
Object- A special paintbrush that i keep with me at all times to remind me of all the things that i had miss because of my foolish deed.
Character- Outgoing facade to hide the anger at myself for doing somwthing that i will regret forever. i seem to hate living because it reminds me of all the things i had forgone.
What is your realization? What triggers it?
I guess all the time i spend in purgatory has made me think about my actions and how i could have done something better, instead of killikng myself. however, i don't want to move on because i'm scared that i will still be deformed, that i can't paint, i'm sacred of life and i don't want to live again, the anger is still there, as well as the hunger, which i can't seem to satisfy.
The trigger is baby and sarah. i had scared baby of life but the way that baby is so determined to live is something that touched my heart. i considered living again too, or moving on. When Sarah came, i did was instantly reminded of myself, because we are so close in age. i come to realise that you know, i did have a choice, i don't want to live here forever, not being, not satisfied, not full. a bad life is better than a screwed up death.
What is this new thing that you want?
I want to live again. i want to be able to paint, i want to be full.
How are you going to get it?
Take a leap of faith, stop staying here, in limbo. Follow where Death takes me and hope to GOD i remeber my mistakles so i don't make them again.
What are the changes you undergo after this realization?
i guess the determination and courage to seek the unknown, to move on. i am not weight down and scared of my disability anymore. i embrace it and hope for the best. i also am not so fake happy anymore because now i have a purpose, a direction in life. i hope to convince the rest of them to move on too. not stay here and remain hungry.
Do you get rid of your handicap? How? What is your handicap?
Not being able to use my right hand. i guess after all this, i have come not to hate it, maybe to see it as a scar that i would proudly wear, embrace the fatc that i cannot use it again. it does not heal when i'm in purgatory though, i hope in my new life, or wherever i'm going, i will remember and appreaciate my hand and go for my dreams, be it with support or not. it is important to believe in myself and persevere.
Can you make you handicap more grotesque?
Yes. Blood veins all around my amputated arm, with blood spilling out of it whenever i try to move it. because i lost a lot of blood, also, my face can be sheet white and pale to the point of ghostly.
New Character Analysis for Muichoo
Mui Choo
Age: 37 years old
D.O.Death: 1960s
Job: Pub waitress / Prostitute ("I work as waitress, but money also come from men. No time to marry. Some men don't mind who they sleep with.")
Obvious traits: Low educated. Simple minded / ignorant. Very Chinese-y. Hungry for love and escape and probably, second chances. Got abused by some of her customers but have to go with it. Got severely abused by her baby's dad.
New stuff about her:
I thought that I've found true love in the end but apparently, he turned out to be just another bastard. He got me pregnant and didn't want to marry me. When he's drunk, he will hit me and abuse me. Even when I'm pregnant, he forces me to have sex with him. He'll flirt and find other women in front of me. I've been with him for more than a year already. For the first few months, he was really sweet and gentle to me. I really thought that he might be different from all the other customers I've seen. He felt like he was the guy I once loved a long time ago, he reminded me of him. That's why I gave him a chance to get my love. In the end, he abused me till I had no choice but to kill myself. I can't bear to see my body with all those bruises and the baby that was created by him inside of me.
Why I regret:
I regret killing myself because I killed a baby, it's another new life that could have lived. I knew there were other methods of escaping that fate without having to kill myself. Also, who's left to take care of my sickly mother? My brother and sister are still young and incapable of providing for the family. What if my sister went to do what I did? I'll be harming her future! I had been irresponsible when I killed myself and I regret it.
Age: 37 years old
D.O.Death: 1960s
Job: Pub waitress / Prostitute ("I work as waitress, but money also come from men. No time to marry. Some men don't mind who they sleep with.")
Obvious traits: Low educated. Simple minded / ignorant. Very Chinese-y. Hungry for love and escape and probably, second chances. Got abused by some of her customers but have to go with it. Got severely abused by her baby's dad.
New stuff about her:
I thought that I've found true love in the end but apparently, he turned out to be just another bastard. He got me pregnant and didn't want to marry me. When he's drunk, he will hit me and abuse me. Even when I'm pregnant, he forces me to have sex with him. He'll flirt and find other women in front of me. I've been with him for more than a year already. For the first few months, he was really sweet and gentle to me. I really thought that he might be different from all the other customers I've seen. He felt like he was the guy I once loved a long time ago, he reminded me of him. That's why I gave him a chance to get my love. In the end, he abused me till I had no choice but to kill myself. I can't bear to see my body with all those bruises and the baby that was created by him inside of me.
Why I regret:
I regret killing myself because I killed a baby, it's another new life that could have lived. I knew there were other methods of escaping that fate without having to kill myself. Also, who's left to take care of my sickly mother? My brother and sister are still young and incapable of providing for the family. What if my sister went to do what I did? I'll be harming her future! I had been irresponsible when I killed myself and I regret it.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
New character analysis for Death + Disability stuff
Hi my name is Death. I am the person that governs the whole of purgatory and makes sure that there is order within this so called chaos. I also help to make sure that the needs of the people living in purgatory are taken care of. So therefore, I make sure that their bed sheets are cleaned, they have comfy pillows, they eat their medicine regularly and whenver they argue, I will stop their arguments with my powers. Furthermore, whenever a newcomer comes into purgatory, I have the duty to make sure that he or she will be able to settle in comfortably. I have a better relationship with the people that have been purgatory for a longer time. For example Mug etc. However ultimately, it is my wish for them to move on from purgatory, either to go to heaven, hell or to be reborn.
Regret
I regret my role and identity as Death. Being Death, I have witnessed many people coming into and leaving purgatory. While it comforts me to see people finally leave purgatory, it pains me because these people will have to die first before they are able to come here. Furthermore, a terrible fate awaits them if they go to hell afterwards, and if they choose to be reborn, all their memories will be erased. These people, especially those who want to be reborn, usually wants to make up for their mistakes. However, only I know that they never can. Therefore, since I am the one who ultimately grants them their decision, it pains me and thus I regret.
I guess to show this regret, it can be physicalised by being bounded in chains, to show how even though I regret being myself, I have no choice as I am still bounded and trapped in my role as Death.
Disability
I am blind. God made me blind so that during my time in purgatory, I will not be able to physically see the pain, regret, anger and sadness that the people are feeling. However, even though I'm blind, I can see better than any person. I can feel and "see" very clearly the emotions and desires of the poeple living in purgatory despite my disability. However, my blindness does it affect my movements and I still function as if I have perfect eyesight. I guess to physicalise this, I can wear the black shades that blind people usually wear, and even move around with the walking stick that blind people use. And when I finally remove my shades, we can make it more grotesque with the use of makeup. We can make my eyes look as if someone gouged it out.
P.S. I don't think I have a realization but rather more of a coming to terms with my role as Death with the help of Sarah or Mug. My disability is also never removed.
Regret
I regret my role and identity as Death. Being Death, I have witnessed many people coming into and leaving purgatory. While it comforts me to see people finally leave purgatory, it pains me because these people will have to die first before they are able to come here. Furthermore, a terrible fate awaits them if they go to hell afterwards, and if they choose to be reborn, all their memories will be erased. These people, especially those who want to be reborn, usually wants to make up for their mistakes. However, only I know that they never can. Therefore, since I am the one who ultimately grants them their decision, it pains me and thus I regret.
I guess to show this regret, it can be physicalised by being bounded in chains, to show how even though I regret being myself, I have no choice as I am still bounded and trapped in my role as Death.
Disability
I am blind. God made me blind so that during my time in purgatory, I will not be able to physically see the pain, regret, anger and sadness that the people are feeling. However, even though I'm blind, I can see better than any person. I can feel and "see" very clearly the emotions and desires of the poeple living in purgatory despite my disability. However, my blindness does it affect my movements and I still function as if I have perfect eyesight. I guess to physicalise this, I can wear the black shades that blind people usually wear, and even move around with the walking stick that blind people use. And when I finally remove my shades, we can make it more grotesque with the use of makeup. We can make my eyes look as if someone gouged it out.
P.S. I don't think I have a realization but rather more of a coming to terms with my role as Death with the help of Sarah or Mug. My disability is also never removed.
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